Wątek: Feeling lonely, what do you do

Strona: 2 z 3

21 z 44: djsenter

I think the harsh and yet the most useful advice is to stop portraying ourselves as victims.
Stop telling people that you are sorry for bothering them, stop giving and expecting, instead be yourself and with little acts of kindness, conversations developing into more deeper and personal topics over time, your initiatives to show that you are trust-worthy and a happy person, you will make friends.
Before being a good friend to others, we need to be good friends to ourselves.
Monkey was right, finding a hobby will help, sharing your passion and interests with like minded people definitely will give us more opportunities for creating friendships and what I have learned the hard way is that if we won't approach people, they won't do it either, because they will not know how we are and whether we want to be their friend, if we're always sitting alone and not engaging with anyone or anything.
INFJ
27.07.2022 01:24

22 z 44: Monkey999

this is very true, thank you
And that, is why you shouldn't do this.
27.07.2022 13:19

23 z 44: Louisa

Hobbies have never worked for me. I guess I never really found something that caught my interest. At school I would say hello, although it felt like talking to thin air. At least that’s what happened sometimes.

27.07.2022 20:56

24 z 44: marchoffmann

djcenter, quite good advise if i think about it. I know exactly 1 person i often told sorry if i bother, i don't want to bother. I will try to not do that anymore, nice post/tip, agreeing with monkey
Ist euch denn nicht klar , dass für Menschen , die Unrecht tun, in Gottes Reich kein Platz sein wird? Täuscht euch nicht: Wer sexuell unmoralisch lebt, Götzen anbetet, die Ehe bricht, wer sich von seinen Begierden treiben lässt und homosexuell verkehrt, wird nicht in Gottes Reich kommen. 1. Korinther 6, 9
28.07.2022 00:14

25 z 44: techboy

when im lonely i vent, a lot, but who am I talking to, no one follows my feeds, and thats were i mostly talk.
and so yeah.
bye


























don't snitch or you're a bitch!
01.08.2022 06:11

26 z 44: mattcurtis

me personally, I don't have really anyone to vent to either
-- (techboy):
when im lonely i vent, a lot, but who am I talking to, no one follows my feeds, and thats were i mostly talk.
and so yeah.
bye



























--
Matt
04.08.2022 06:47

27 z 44: fatih

Just as I was about to have some friends which I hang out at uni have appeard, the pandemai struck and I lost most of them. However, during this time, a teacher called me from a mobility training centre and from there, I had some friends, who I meet sometimes face to face and hang out.
Also, to improve, my Russian, I have had some friends from the internet, which I talk to them whenever I want.
Before, I used to want to see, but as I became more independent physically, feelings of this kind and feelings of lonelyness and boredombegan to appear less often.
Btw, I like to learn where do these people hang out, in the English community or wherever? I'd love to have more online friends to share some experiences and listen to people and just have fun.

06.08.2022 23:25

28 z 44: Ken2002

I'm a hopeless romantic guy hahahaha!
So I'm always lonely, but I'm trying to overcome it by trying something new.

29.08.2022 12:43

29 z 44: marchoffmann

so i post here again. A big problem is they all say be yourself, and all of that. But. In short, i'm always not myself especially being around certain people. Now that our class is closed while breaks we have to sit outside the class which can be outside or outside in the hallway on a bench with a table. Of course not many people fit there but its enough. My problem? I don't wanna talk to 1 person and get the attention of 6. Like now i can't really pick anymore and there are some people i don't really wanna talk to, as well, and 1 of them is only doing small talk or lego so i don't wanna talk to much to him though i won't tell that. But meh. Maybe its just girls are hard to reach and this is how its supposed to be? IDK. But when i try to be happy i directly get sad again. When i try hoping for the best, they get tared apart. And it sucks. And maybe noone wants to do something anymore,, or maybe, mostly noone. But then again i read the post that i shouldn't say i bother or something. But being a friend even with yourself is to hard for me rn, since i don't do well in socializing this week for example. Its just hard to believe in this state that i'm how i am and that people like me. Plus the fact that a friend in another grade moved away in the holidays doesn't makes it any better. In case i made any typos or gramatical errors, sorry. I should call myself marc, master of typo's and quick typing, or actually nah. But anyways let's finish that bible.
Ist euch denn nicht klar , dass für Menschen , die Unrecht tun, in Gottes Reich kein Platz sein wird? Täuscht euch nicht: Wer sexuell unmoralisch lebt, Götzen anbetet, die Ehe bricht, wer sich von seinen Begierden treiben lässt und homosexuell verkehrt, wird nicht in Gottes Reich kommen. 1. Korinther 6, 9
01.09.2022 15:51

30 z 44: fatih

Finding a girl isn't easy, especially if you are blind, I suppose. And not for Norway, but a video that I wathed about Sweden says: An immigrant spends 7 years in order to know a person from that country. I could be making a prejudice here, but scandinavians can be cold. I tell this from a video that I've watched long ago, I don't know that many Scandinavians, so I can't be sure.

01.09.2022 21:17

31 z 44: marchoffmann

woh, impressive. But maybe its the person
Ist euch denn nicht klar , dass für Menschen , die Unrecht tun, in Gottes Reich kein Platz sein wird? Täuscht euch nicht: Wer sexuell unmoralisch lebt, Götzen anbetet, die Ehe bricht, wer sich von seinen Begierden treiben lässt und homosexuell verkehrt, wird nicht in Gottes Reich kommen. 1. Korinther 6, 9
02.09.2022 05:05

32 z 44: marchoffmann

Well, idk if I should write this here but writing down apparently should help so why not. Adding to the being lonely thing, I often encounter me randomly start getting sad. This surely has something to do with quite deep reasons I don't need to share in detail here but I think the most problem is its hard to find a friend who you can clearly talk to in real life about exactly that, virtual life is of course very easy. In real life though, it often happens that I'm the one starting the conversation to people sometimes and they answer and then they do their own thing again, in that case, talk to others, so I'm kinda giving up. But then again this is only a class example. A more general example is that, when writing to people I often get that they open the message and check regularely but never reply. Or when I try to meet with people, its always sorry, I can't, cuz this. Cuz that, sorry but, bleh. And its frustrating.
Ist euch denn nicht klar , dass für Menschen , die Unrecht tun, in Gottes Reich kein Platz sein wird? Täuscht euch nicht: Wer sexuell unmoralisch lebt, Götzen anbetet, die Ehe bricht, wer sich von seinen Begierden treiben lässt und homosexuell verkehrt, wird nicht in Gottes Reich kommen. 1. Korinther 6, 9
30.11.2022 21:27

33 z 44: fatih

The same thing happens to me, too. For example, we exchangephone numbers while I'm walking in the campus to go somewhere, and when I try to talk to that person later, they say "oh, I'm so busy" or such things.
The communication thing happens to me, too. We have a class of 11 people. In this class, nearly everyone has bonded to each other very well for five years or so, except me.
For some reason, I can't talk to them. Even if I do, sometimes they either don't hear me or pretend to not hear me, or answer to me and return to their own business.
I guess this has to do with blindness, because we cannot see visual queues etc, I mean hand gestures and such.
The best is if your friends don't talk to you, talk to them when only necessary, or else you'll continue to frustrate yourself further. This problem with friends has also to do with blindness imho. They, with some interest, at first say that they'll help you when you need it, call if you're bored etc, but if you then call them when you're really bored, they say "oh, I'm busy etc.
They could be busy for real btw, it's not that they are liars or such, but some person can't be always busy to hang out with others.
The root of all these problems is blindness. The people don't know how to deal with you and they hesitate or don't want to ask you either. Personally, I can't go around like "oh, I'm blind, you souldn't do so and so, and you should treat me so and so" to people who I meet for the first time. If they hesitate, then I can't know about that. I'll answer them about my blindness when they ask, though.
This has been a very long post, but I'm kind of sad today, which is dependent of the weather being not sunny and cloudy in my opinion.
On sunny days, I don't care about those kinds of thing usually.
We have to know that worse has worse, and the better has better, and we should thank God in the end for what he has given us, because you could be blind and deaf or blind and mobilly impaired at the same time, that would ruin you altogether.

01.12.2022 09:43

34 z 44: djsenter

That is the modern society, I think.
Everyone is telling us that we have someone to talk to, that they care, that we matter.
Sadly, they are just words and no one cares.
That's the problem, everyone is giving us false hope and promises, but no one actually wants to sit down and talk to us, or when they're standing up on their two own feet, they don't want to bring us up with them, even when it's clear that we just need a soulmate to go through some harder times in life with..
INFJ
01.12.2022 12:51

35 z 44: fatih

Yes, you're completely right. I think that way, too. But not making an effort because no one cares for you isn't an option either, because at least if people see that you're making an effort to do something, they help you do that. Otherwise, you become completely invisible and no one really cares for you, except for your relatives, and you can become a bourden for them after some time, like when they get old etc.
So you have to always make some effort in this life to stand on your own feet, else nobody will care for you and your parents will pass away sooner or later, so you have to learn to do your own thing.

01.12.2022 12:55

36 z 44: nikolai

Remember. People do have a bunch of stuff to deal with now at days. This is 2022 after all, where the smallest, but most important thing can happen at the sound of a notification, and Fomo is always, always, always present, reminding you that you are missing out. Pluss, there is work to deal with, maybee school as well, and for fuck sake, grand uncle Jonny went drinking again and now he needs help.

In my experience, people make it super clear when they don't want to hang with you. And they especially do not give you their number.

I'm curious. When people tell you they are busy, have you tried asking them what they are doing, and if you can help them with it?
The Program comes for us all. https://programaudioseries.com/
01.12.2022 14:36

37 z 44: marchoffmann

Yeah @fatih and djcenter, I agree with you both. But in the end I'm still that someone that wants to be nice and help, make people glad but in the end for what is it worth it even. Damn its just sad to see this being like that
Ist euch denn nicht klar , dass für Menschen , die Unrecht tun, in Gottes Reich kein Platz sein wird? Täuscht euch nicht: Wer sexuell unmoralisch lebt, Götzen anbetet, die Ehe bricht, wer sich von seinen Begierden treiben lässt und homosexuell verkehrt, wird nicht in Gottes Reich kommen. 1. Korinther 6, 9
01.12.2022 15:44

38 z 44: DianaCician

Sadly, this is how life goes.
But sometimes, it can be that people have their own problems. It's ok. We have too our own problems, even if they're not that grave or important to them as they're to us. How I always say, a problem for a rich 10 years old it's losing his phone, for a homeless person not having food.
If something affects you, it's clearly important, at least for you.
How it was said above, we can ask what has that person to do, with what are they busy etc, what is afecting them, with what can we help...basically how can we be of use.
If that person doesn't want to share, it's ok, let them be. I always try to take care to let them know that I'll be here every time they need me if they do and I can help.
If they take that into account, ok I'm glad, we're ok, here, on the line. If not, let them be, if they want they do and if not, so do they, not going to force people.
Which brings me to a topic I want to talk about too.
Give me a second, this thing is slow, gonna restart it and tell you afterwards.
Signed by, no one in particular.
01.12.2022 16:07

39 z 44: DianaCician

Ok, here we are, continuing.
Was going to say that, also it's a matter of priorities.
Ok, you don't have to answer to this in a public place, just do it mentally or not if you don't want.
But, don't you have in mind always a person when something happens to you? Doesn't matter if the person changes with the event that does, like, good, bad, etc, or if you do end up reaching or not to them, but they're there.
Isn't there someone you would prioritize over someone else?
Family, romantic relationship , friendship...we all have a favorite deep down, or more of them, and yes, I do too. Some admit it, some don't.
But how I said, prioritizing. Priorities.
Also, don't tell me you wasn't nice to someone only to be, and then you really was busy, or wanted to get rid of that person,, or both. Or simply, if you have luck, don't even ever again have to interact with them.
Think about it. Think about that relative of yours, that classmate, person you met on some place and you did something for them. That friend of a friend,, that friend of the neighbor of the sister of the brother of the mom of the dad of your fourth cousin which is uncle to your uncle Johny, whatever, you know about who I talk.
Well, you're that someone, to someone, the way someone is for you, sadly.
And sadly too, even for the people who don't have any major disability, they can see, walk, talk hear, reason and think „normally”, it can be difficult lately. Yeah, even if we're 8 billion people now as of 15th of november of this year if I'm not wrong. It's just, difficult, and more for us who have something „out of the loop”, „unusual”.
Signed by, no one in particular.
01.12.2022 16:15

40 z 44: DianaCician

Which, wanted to say before returning to eat my nails or something.
I don't care if we don't know each other, if we're friends, acquaintances, etc etc, I'll be always here for you. You're not alone.
Why? Well, I know, I know how hard it's to be alone when you need someone the most.
I know, I know you probably have other people up your list of priorities or fast contacts, and more if we aren't close friends, which I am only with a very low number of people and less from here. I mean,, they exist, but they're not a wide number of population.
I want you to know, and if you know to remind you, that I'm always here.
Doesn't matter if we didn't talk for a long while or never, or the way our relationship is. I'm just here.
Maybe I don't answer. If I don't, I have/had an extremelly bad day or simply don't feel like talking to anyone, I have something to do or I saw/heard what you said, and then get distracted with something, or think about ways of answering and I'm too slow for that, because I suck at human interactions but if I don't answer I'd recommend you insist later because I'm such an idiot I forget if something happens, I open the message and or something appears/I get distracted :D
Signed by, no one in particular.
01.12.2022 16:22